How to Cope with the Death of a Partner

Strategies for Surviving the Difficult Times Ahead
and Maintaining Your Emotional Health

This booklet evolved while I was writing Tincture of Time: Living Through Grief to Hope, a memoir about my husband’s death. One part of me was deeply involved in chronicling my experiences and feelings about this momentous transition, while another part of me—the therapist—wanted to give advice and suggestions to people facing similar challenges. But I couldn’t be objective enough to write a how-to book while subjectively recounting my experiences. Consequently, I focused on writing this booklet following the completion of my memoir.

Here I have covered essential steps and stages that will help people move through a difficult time of mourning the death of a partner. Throughout, I have highlighted some of the dangers that we all must face when we are emotionally vulnerable. Personal safeguards found at the end of each chapter, preceded by an orange glow indicating caution, are designed to help grieving individuals maintain emotional health at a time when stress and anxiety can negatively impact decision making.

In general, it is best to approach each day in a manner I used to recommend while teaching knitting to bedridden patients who were seriously ill: I encouraged them to read only one line of instruction at a time, since reading all the steps necessary for task completion would surely have overwhelmed them. So rather than thinking about the many tasks there are to do in the emotionally vulnerable time of mourning, stay in the present moment and let each completed task lead organically to the start of the next one checking them off as you progress. Moving step by step, one day after the next, is the most gentle and efficient way to accomplish all that needs to be done.

“The author has thought of just about every area of concern that can and does surface after the death of a mate, and she gives sound advice. This is a beautifully written easy-to-follow booklet—a must-read not only for anyone who has lost a mate but also for those who want to help a grieving loved one.”

—Marie A. O’Neill
White Lotus Life Coaching

“Captures the essence of the emotional roller-coaster one experiences immediately after the death of a partner and capsulates the practical and emotional elements of the grieving process into one concise checklist for the bereaved. A must-read for any brokenhearted partner searching for guidance on how to cope and what step to take next.”

—Martin M. Auz
Coauthor of Handbook for Those Who Grieve

“Provides that all-important roadmap of concrete solutions for a world suddenly turned upside-down. This book is comforting, insightful, and informative, and I highly recommend it to the bereaved who seek support, tools, hope, and understanding for their grieving and healing.”

—Gloria Lintermans
Author of The Healing

“Judy Schreiber-Mosher’s words, gentle and easy to understand, are salve for the broken heart. Short chapters, good advice, and blank check-boxes make this a joy to read. Though I became a widow more than five years ago, its words still ring true. I wholeheartedly recommend this booklet.”

—Linda Della Donna
Author of Mourning

Soteria Press
2616 Angell Avenue
San Diego, CA 92122

Tel/Fax: 858.550.0312